Handiwork.

Lovely Internet, send! help! at! once!. M’aidez et cetera.

Am drowning in bodily secretions, excretions and all other kinds of cretions you can name for Bhaji Nightshift has a cold and so do I and, accordingly enough, I am not sure which of us is more prone to fits of low grade febrile irritability and crying for no externally discernible reason. My damn throat hurts.

As for Bhaji, well, she can’t whinge as fluently as the twins can because they have about three years jump on her in the whole complaints department, but she’s very clearly about as happy about the whole thing as you can expect an obligate nose-breather to be when chock full of snot and in case I have failed to make my not so subtle point I mean that Bhaji is rather UNhappy and UNsettled and prone to sleeping sounding a little like Darth Vader’s hiterto-unknown apprentice, complete with wakings on the hour pretty much every hour without reference to the actual time of day.

Or night.

Sob.

Also, she wants ze boobie almost constantly because only a thirty seven degree squishy pacifier shall do and I have two observations to note from this development.

1. Your nipples start to hurt when abused in this fashion.

2. Your baby will literally overflow with ze product of ze boob that comes with the squishy pacifier and thus you will frequently be coated in your own modified apocrine glandular output (in various stages of acidic maturation) rather more than is considered polite from the newborn set.

Actually, there’s also observation number three: You will get really farking tired really farking quickly and this doesn’t help the personal human versus virus battle one damn bit. I am zombie boobie mama right now. Lightly puke-ly marinated.

Screw those polite TV commercials advertising product huggy-boo for baby’s special first wee fever. I want the shite that kills virions with one fell swoop, drains sinuses better than a good dose of curry and gives a better night’s sleep than a propofol infusion.

G

PS. No I don’t know who the b@stard is who Let The Germ In. They usual suspects are suspiciously chirpy and whine free. Ergo in about three day’s time, they will be wiping their noses on my clothes and whinging. Can hardly wait.